Lost in Transit
Footprints clear in the crisp snow;I follow, hoping to find my wayBack to the place I came in.The path winds on and on;No end in sight. Until at lastFamiliar sights greet me.I have been here...
View ArticleEating (dis)Order
I came across this post by bunnyhopscotch and it made me think about my own eating habits and preferences. While I don't consider myself extreme in these regards I am aware, because of frequent...
View ArticleBah Humbug!, or What Christmas Means To Me
I dread this time of year - the Christmas holiday. An endless all-you-can-eat buffet of bright, shiny, colorful, twinkly, saccharine, plastic, superficial, empty-hearted, compulsory frivolity and joy...
View ArticleDoing Right
I am so proud of my wife tonight: we were at our local where we had had a lovely night with friends, and at the end of the night encountered somebody who was insulting a close friend of ours. Well, she...
View ArticleTeasing Trouble
I find teasing very hurtful; this is a consequence of being unable to read people. I have to take everything I am told at face value, take it literally, because I am unable to determine intent based on...
View ArticleEmptiness
There comes a point when it stops hurting. When the pain is replaced by numbness. When all that remains is emptiness.And in a way that's a good thing - there might be no joy, no happiness but there is...
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Abstract Pictures
I've written before about being a strongly visual thinker. While this can involve the obvious triggering of mental pictures - snapshots if you like - as a direct result of words and phrases, sounds,...
View ArticleWish You Were Here
Outside the WallTo be a fly on the wall, an unseen observer. How many people have wished that at some point? Usually because of curiosity: they want to be in on private events that they would normally...
View ArticleGoing Back
There's a saying that might appear familiar to readers of Terry Pratchett: "You can't cross the same river twice". If it wasn't for the clue in his books that the obvious interpretation is not the...
View ArticleAnxiety: Learning to Cope
Nobody Home?It's the strangest feeling, or it would be if it weren't so familiar. I catch myself playing the part, acting "normal", carrying on without conscious intervention while all the time I'm...
View ArticleUnintended Consequences
It's very difficult to admit that you are in the wrong. Especially if the misdeed was not an intentional act but a consequence of natural behavior.With impeccable timing under the circumstances I read...
View ArticleTherapy? Experiences of Congitive Behavioral Therapy
Ok. Time to hold my hands up - I'm in therapy. I'm nearing the end of a course of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy to help me deal with anxiety. Up to now there were only three people who knew this: me, my...
View ArticleAspergers Blues
It's hard to write about depression. The symptoms keep getting in the way of my words, and for somebody who loves words as I do that is disheartening.Where to start? Well, I've been suffering bouts of...
View ArticleSocial Insecurity
People talk to me. I talk back. Sometimes I feel comfortable with it. But do they like me? I don't know and there are times when that bothers me. Like many Aspies I have great difficulty reading...
View ArticleFinancial Disaster Area
I screwed up again. Nothing new there: it's a regular occurrence. This time I paid three bills twice, but luckily I've got the money in my account to cover it. Finances and me are not a felicitous...
View ArticleAttachment and Anxiety: Relationship Problems
I mentioned in a previous post that I suffer from insecurity in relationships because I don't know how the other person feels towards me. In terms of Attachment Theory this would be described as...
View ArticleA Song of Ice and Fire
I'm currently reading A Song of Ice and Fire by George R. R. Martin -- I've just started the first volume of A Dance with Dragons -- and I must say that I'm enjoying it immensely. There is a wealth of...
View ArticleStudying Conversation
Partly as a result of my anxiety therapy I have been paying special attention to conversations recently, both those I have been involved in and others that I've observed, to learn more about their...
View ArticleGetting Hired
I wrote a piece a couple years ago about my experiences with Aspergers and how it has affected my work. But what I didn't go into much detail about was the process of getting a job in the first place....
View ArticleIf It Looks Like A Duck...
Who am I?That's a question to which I struggle to find an answer that satisfies me. Oh, there are no shortage of answers: I'm Ben, I'm a husband, I'm a 40 year old, I'm a programmer, I'm an Aspie......
View ArticleHappy Flappy Tappy Aspie
My project at work went well yesterday. Really well. So well that I got excited -- this happens when I'm pleased with what I've produced. Now, the thing about getting excited is that, as with most...
View ArticleStimming Survey - Your Community Needs You!
Fellow autistic blogger autisticook needs your help -- yes, that means you -- to collect as many examples of stims as humanly possible, so please take the time to head on over there and do your bit....
View ArticleViolence As A Means Of Expression
I'm not a violent person in general. People who know me well have remarked on my placid nature. But I have a darker side: there's a reason my mother told my wife to watch out for my temper...I have a...
View ArticleMigration
I've decided to move. Not physically -- just my blog. From now on all new content will be on my Wordpress blog (I've developed a preference for the platform over Blogger).You can find all the existing...
View ArticleReblog: Sidestepping Meltdown
It’s curious that the day after I wrote about violence in meltdowns I felt myself approaching one. This is how I handled it.Read more at Married, With Aspergers...
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